Another event coming up also is something of a marker for me. Two weeks from this Saturday will be Homecoming on the CHI campus. We’ll be able to host so many of our donors and other friends who will come from all over to visit and enjoy the day with us. As always, it will include a program in the gym, our famous fish fry, and desserts in the Family Homes for some extra time to fellowship and get to know one another better. I’m always reminded of the first time Mark and I were able to attend Homecoming. We were totally unfamiliar with the campus and the events that would take place that day. But we were very eager to become familiar with it all because we were to join the Children’s Homes family just two weeks later.

Next month will be our fourth anniversary as houseparents for CHI. It’s not something we ever expected to be doing and we never could’ve dreamed what it would be like. As parents of two sons, both now adults, we probably would have told you that we’d experienced most of what parenting holds, although we’ve always been grateful to have been spared much of the heartache that many parents suffer. We’d even hosted “summer sons”- an exchange student from Thailand and two different youth interns – so we had a feel for sharing our home with someone who wasn’t part of our family. But we had never faced the issues that many of the residents here bring with them when they come to live at CHI.

We’ve learned so much in our four years here. We’ve become familiar with an “alphabet soup” of problems and disorders that many of these kids must live with. We’ve spent sleepless nights with girls who are sick, afraid, miserable or have even run away. But we’ve also learned how much we can love someone who was a stranger to us a few weeks or months ago. We’ve had challenges and frustrations but we’ve also had joys and triumphs. And we’ve shared our home with 21 young people who’ve impacted our lives in ways we’ll never forget. Each one of those kids is precious to God and precious to us. We pray that something someone here said or did made the impact on them that will help them turn their lives around from what they were to what God envisions for them.

We hope you’ll visit us for Homecoming in a couple of weeks and get to know some of the young people we serve. And we thank you for whatever role you play in helping us to serve them.

See you soon?

It’s that time again. School started Thursday at Crowley’s Ridge Academy, the private Christian school across from our campus, where some of our residents attend. The Balcom Learning Center opened its doors today (although the teachers had already been hard at work) and Greene County Tech will begin classes on Wednesday. By the end of the week, things will be back to “normal” around here. (Was it Erma Bombeck or some other contemporary sage who told us that normal is just a setting on your dryer?) The kids are not as excited as the housemoms about the new school year beginning, but I think most of them are at least looking forward to seeing their friends and catching up on what happened over the summer. And we should start hearing fewer cries of “I’m bored!” very quickly. (Some of the kids around here have figured out that complaints of boredom are often met with suggestions of extra chores to be done!) It’s been a good summer but I think we’re all ready to get back into our routine and looking forward to all the special gifts that fall holds – including Homecoming next month (Saturday, Sept. 24)!

Late in the summer, decisions have to be made on our campus about school. Some of the kids who’ve been with us a while will get the opportunity to go to public school or CRA. Occasionally, those decisions can be made at the end of the spring semester but, often, it depends a lot on what happens over the summer. Quite a few of our residents wait eagerly through the break to find out whether they’ll attend “real school,” as they may refer to it, or stay another semester in the BLC. It can be a nerve-wracking time. Many of them place a great deal of importance on whether or not they get to start the new school year off-campus. For a lot of our kids, the decision is seen as a commentary on their progress or even the opportunity to move back home. Being able to attend public or private school is frequently a step in the transition to returning home, but it isn’t always an indication that a particular child is or isn’t ready to leave CHI.

A case in point of a child like I just described took place over the last few weeks. This young lady has been here a little over a year and wants desperately to attend the Academy. The appropriate adults met to discuss it before school registration and the tentative decision to let her go was made. She was delirious! However, over the next week or so, the adults closest to her saw some issues which made them question whether it was in her best interest to go off-campus to school and whether she was really prepared. After bringing in a supervisor to get another perspective, in the end, the decision was reversed. That was a black day. The girl wept, begged, bargained and did everything she could think of to convince the adults that she should attend CRA. The interesting thing she said was, “Let me go there just one day and then pull me out.” When her housemom questioned her about the reason to go just one day, her response was, “Then I’ll know that at least I made it.” She was convinced that attending off-campus school just one day would somehow prove that she was ready to go home. It was extremely hard for that young lady to accept the fact that the adults here were doing what was best for her and that she still has room for a lot of growth in preparation for her return to her family.

On the other hand, another young lady saw Day One of school at CRA come with no thought of attending there. She’s been in the BLC for two school years and she anticipated being there again this year. But a decision was made that day that she was ready to try something new. That afternoon, her housemom took her shopping for a new outfit and she was in her new class the next day. She was very nervous but thrilled to find that the staff here felt she was prepared to face another challenge. As she told me about it over the weekend, her face glowed with joy and healthy pride in her accomplishment.

We at Children’s Homes covet your prayers for all our students, on- and off-campus alike. All of them will face challenges and struggles this year and will need God’s help and protection.

May this be the year that each of them reaches a new level of maturity and courage to follow in His ways.

For anyone who doesn’t know anything about Eureka Springs, the big draw there, and the most exciting part of the trip for us, is the New Holy Land. Years ago, some folks began building a Bible-themed area there. In the 1960′s, the Christ of the Ozarks was built. The statue stands 67 feet tall, with arms outstretched to welcome all who would come to Him. Near the Christ of the Ozarks is a section of the Berlin Wall, standing as a reminder. On the grounds there is a Sacred Arts Center, a collection of various beautiful paintings, sculptures and other artwork with biblical or Christian themes, some centuries old. Their Bible Museum has been independently rated as second only to the Library of Congress for its collection of Bibles. It holds Bibles in many languages, historical and rare printings of the Bible and other interesting items. There are two 30-minute dramas done in the evening by actors dressed as people from Biblical times – one as a shepherd who talks about David and other shepherds in the Bible, and one a potter who creates a vessel as he talks about how we are the clay that God molds.

But the highlights for the girls of the whole day there were the Living Bible Tour and the Passion Play. The tour takes two hours and stops in different areas where characters such as the woman at the well, Moses, Simon Peter, Ruth and others tell about their lives and explain how things were made or done in Bible times. The replica of the tabernacle is fabulous! Then, around 8:30 in the evening, the Passion Play begins. It is the largest attended outdoor drama in the US, having been host to over 7.5 million people. They portray the last few days of Jesus’ life, including the last supper, the trials and crucifixion, the resurrection and appearances to His disciples and then jump to Jesus’ ascension. It is an incredible production. The girls all cried during the presentation, as what they’d read in the Bible became more real to them. It was a marvelous day for all of us.

The next day we visited a variety of places. First we saw the Blue Spring Heritage Center, a botanical garden spreading over 33 acres. We fed the trout in the lagoon and cooled our feet in Blue Spring, which puts out 38 million gallons of water per day (all about 54 degrees!). When we left there, we went to Thorncrown Chapel, a magnificent structure made mostly of glass and situated in a beautiful, wooded area. Then we went on to visit Quigley’s Castle, an amazing home which is listed on the National Register of Historic Places. After a brief rest at the motel, we spent most of the afternoon popping in and out of the quaint little shops in downtown Eureka Springs.

We made our return trip on Sunday and were thankful to be able to worship in Harrison on the way home. The Northside Church of Christ heavily supports Children’s Homes and the folks there made us very welcome. It was such a treat to get to visit them and share our thanks for all they do to bless us.

Obviously, a trip like the one we took is not free. While some of the places we visited were free or very inexpensive, it still costs money to stay in a motel and eat out. CHI has a budget and a formula for calculating funds for vacations, because we want the kids here to remember having had family fun as well as the work they do here to make changes in their lives. But I also want to thank our sponsoring congregation, Gardner Church of Christ in Martin, TN, for helping make this trip as wonderful as it was. Back at Christmas, they asked about what big item they could help us with for the cottage. At that point, we’d been having trouble with our lawn mowers and I suggested that they could help us with a new one if they wanted to do that.

They collected enough for a beautiful new mower and more. They told us to keep the extra and put it toward a vacation this summer. (All this on top of having made Christmas very special for the girls.) So some of the things we did last week happened because of the generous folks from Gardner Church of Christ. The girls had a vacation they will never forget and we want to thank all of the people who made that possible.

The week of 4th of July is always a break from the regular summer schedule on our campus. The three-day-per-week summer program takes a week off for the Independence Day holiday, as does Crowley’s Ridge Youth Camp. But that doesn’t mean everybody lays around sipping iced tea. That is the week of Workcamp.

We have so many wonderful volunteers who support CHI, not only with their money, but with their time, talents and hard work. The week of July 4th, two groups came from Illinois (the Vaughn Hill Church of Christ near Alton, IL) and Kentucky (the Glendale Road Church of Christ in Murray, KY) to stay at CRYC and help CHI. As is becoming the pattern for that week, they arrived on Tuesday afternoon. Tuesday evening, they had hamburgers and hot dogs for supper and the CHI residents who were to work with them that week were invited to share dinner and some evening activities to get to know one another.

Wednesday morning, the work began. The volunteer groups and the residents involved were divided up into five teams. Each team had a designated project for the week and they worked hard to accomplish their goals. A couple of the teams worked on campus doing a landscape project at one of the homes and expanding the playground. (New equipment was added to the extended playground area and a pavilion was constructed.) Other teams worked on jobs at the camp and one of our farms.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday morning were spent completing the assigned projects. But don’t think the days were spent entirely at hard labor. The groups made time each day for some good, clean fun together to help cement the bonds they were forming. (Perhaps I should rephrase that. One of their fun activities was a trip to Clay Mountain and nobody was clean after that!)

On Friday, the time came to say goodbyes. Much work had been accomplished and new friendships had been made. In fact, many of our volunteers looked for and asked about specific kids they had worked with last year and those friendships had been renewed. It was a wonderful week of service and Christian fellowship. Thank you to all of our dear friends who use their vacations and time off to serve God by blessing children. We appreciate you.

Saturday was an exciting day for all the kids and much of the staff and their families. I’m not sure whose idea it was or who initiated the plan, but Micah Brinkley contacted the houseparents and other staff several weeks ago about a special day coming up. The folks from Goodman Oaks church of Christ in Southaven, Mississippi were preparing a picnic and fun day for all the residents, staff and their families. So we all drove over to Southaven for a fun afternoon. After a delicious lunch of hot dogs, chips, cookies and other goodies, they set up a water slide (or “swip n swide,” as one of our little folks called it). The kids got to play in the water and slide down the hill for an hour or more. Then everybody cleaned up and had popsicles. It was a delightful time to visit and enjoy a beautiful afternoon in a shady park.

But the day wasn’t over. Around 4:00, we thanked our gracious hosts and headed into Memphis’ AutoZone Park to watch the Memphis Redbirds baseball team play the Nashville Sounds. It was Faith and Family Night at the stadium, which meant the crowd was likely to be better behaved and more kid-friendly than might sometimes be the case. We had a section of very good seats all to ourselves. Our own Micah Brinkley did a beautiful job of singing the National Anthem to start the evening off. The game was exciting and even went into extra innings, ending with a win for the Redbirds. And, to top it all off, there were fireworks when the game was over.

A day like that is fun for any of us. We all enjoy playing in the water, picnics in the park and a fun evening at a sporting event. But many of the kids we serve have never had a day like Saturday before and some of them would never have experienced it if not as a resident of CHI. I personally want to say how much I appreciate those who made the fun possible. The kids went to bed that night with a memory to cherish and a knowledge that someone cared about them and provided them the opportunity for a great day. Thank you, God, for putting that kind of people into the lives of these kids.

It’s been a rough week here on campus for a lot of us. The tears shed could add to the flooding around here.

Last weekend, we lost a much beloved member of the community and the church family in Paragould. I must be the only person in Greene County who didn’t actually know Debbie Stokes and she apparently made a huge impact on every life she touched. Every person I talked to this week talked about what an incredible Christian woman she was. I’ve heard it estimated that thousands of people attended her visitation and/or funeral. The visitation was scheduled to be from 6:00 to 9:00 pm last Sunday and I heard there were still people paying their respects at 11:00!

Within days of Mrs. Stokes’ death, housemom Lauria Baker lost her niece, Anna. Anna, too, fought a brave battle with cancer for several years. She was a young woman and, like Mrs. Stokes, has been on our prayer list since before I came to CHI. The family has been very strong but I know their hearts are broken. Please pray for both of these families as they adjust to a life that has a gaping hole in it.

The other major grief that is taking place on our campus right now isn’t caused by a death. I’ve written in the past about how we sometimes play “musical kids” in an effort to provide the best care possible for the greatest number of our residents. It’s happening again this week, but on a much broader scale than ever before (in my experience). Out of three cottages of girls, there are only about four or five kids who are not moving. And the fourth girl cottage has one that is moving.

Some are moving because of some unhealthy relationships we’re trying to break up. Others are moving for logistical reasons. Our little guy and his momma will be going to a different cottage where the house is designed in a way that will give them a sort of apartment of their own, where they can take another step toward the way life will be for them when they leave Children’s Homes. Momma will be even more involved in his care than she was while they lived in our house and she will take on even more responsibilities with him. He will have the opportunity to see more clearly that she is the person who will be there for him as he grows up and to learn to depend on her to meet his needs, more than a housemom.

State and federal regulations determine how we can do much of what we do. One of those regulations is about the ratio of children to adults in the family homes on our campus. Our ratio is generally 9:1 in the homes. But a home that has small kids in it (I’m not sure what the exact age is) has a lower ratio because of the added demands of caring for younger children. That ratio, by the way, includes the houseparents’ kids as well as the residents. So, obviously, if two kids are moving into a different cottage, at least two will have to move out to make room for them. That’s why so many of the girls are affected by this move. To keep the numbers right and separate the ones who need to be separated, it will involve moving nearly every girl on campus.

The last time I wrote about this idea, it was from the perspective of what it takes to keep things on an even keel here. The girls who were moving that time were all fairly new to our program and were still settling in. It wasn’t terribly disruptive for them to change cottages while they were still transitioning into the program and getting to know everybody. But this time, the change has been much more upsetting to the people involved. When we told the girls about it on Thursday afternoon, there were very few who weren’t crying and some were weeping almost hysterically. Many of these girls have lived a year or more with the families they will be leaving – at least one of them has been with her houseparents nearly two years. Many have made great strides in their growth and have bonded with their houseparents strongly. This is a difficult move to make, even for the housemoms, who understand all the factors involved and the wisdom of the decision. We wouldn’t be doing what we do if we didn’t love the kids we care for, and it’s hard to send them off to another home and miss the daily interactions with them. But because we love them, we want what’s best for them. So we will put on a bold face and a cheery (if not altogether real) smile as we say goodbye. We’ll still see them around campus and we’ll still be praying for their success. Please pray with – and for – us this week.

It’s a good thing for us to honor our mothers. I can’t think of anyone who has a greater influence on our early lives than a mother. She plays the major role in shaping our character, our world view and our outlook on life in general. Not that there aren’t others, especially dads, who have an impact on our youth. But in reality, a larger and larger percentage of kids in our culture are growing up in homes where the mom is the only adult, and she carries a heavy burden. Even in two-parent families, Mom is typically the primary caretaker of the children.

(Before anybody throws something at me, let me say that I know lots of dads who are very involved and important in their kids’ day-to-day lives and that’s wonderful. It seems to be one of the positive changes that have taken place in the last couple of generations – the idea of dads having more “hands-on” roles in the lives of their children. I love seeing dads who give baths and do chores and help with homework and do all those little things that not only make life better but also make memories. My hat is off to all the godly fathers out there who take their responsibilities to their families seriously.)

I am very grateful to have been blessed with a wonderful mother. She did all the typical stay-at-home-mom stuff. And she led us to the Lord she came to love. She provided opportunities for us to be involved in school activities and church activities and sports and whatever interests we had. She chaperoned, cooked, chauffeured, led scout troops – the whole nine yards. She spent time talking and teaching and sharing with us. The word “Momma” has a warm, loving feeling for me.

Some of the kids we serve here at CHI had the kind of mom that I had. Some of their moms and dads put everything they had into training and caring for their kids but, somehow, it wasn’t enough. The kids were led astray by influences around them and the parents brought them to us to partner with them when they hadn’t been able to pull them back on their own. Those moms and dads weep and pray for their kids, and rejoice as they work through our program and begin to make needed changes. May God bless, strengthen and encourage those parents.

But, unfortunately, many of the kids we help don’t have any concept of that kind of mom. To them, Mom was someone who abused them. Or neglected them. Or cared more about her own addictions or her current love interest than the children she brought into the world. Some were abandoned. Some wish they had been – it would have been better than the life they lived. Those kids wait for letters, phone calls, visits that never happen. And yet, they still wait. Even when they’ve been disappointed over and over, they still wait.

That’s how important a mother is. God, help us to be mothers who bring our children to know and love you through the way we love them.

Mrs. Angie was telling me about how emotional she’s feeling right now, as their daughter is experiencing “lasts” – last concert, last band banquet, last days of school, etc. It is a time when parents seem to reflect on all the experiences we’ve shared with our kids and wonder how the time went so quickly. We also look to the future and think about the things our offspring will face as adults and how much we want them to make good choices and decisions that will benefit them. Emotions seem to overwhelm us as we watch these young adults, who mean the world to us, beginning a new phase of life, in which we’ll play a much smaller role than before. Joy, worry, pride, anxiety, loneliness, excitement and a host of other feelings blend to create an emotional flood that seems to swirl around our knees and threaten to pull us under at times. Tears come as easily and often as laughter.

I can easily understand how Mrs. Angie was feeling and I felt teary myself as we talked. One of my sons is making plans to go into the Air Force and the other is talking about going away to graduate school in the fall. But we aren’t the only families facing these transitions. The Brooms have a daughter graduating. And the Moneys have a long-term resident – a young lady who has shared their home for many years – who will also graduate next week. The people who live and work here have watched those two young ladies grow up, so there’s a very real sense in which many of us feel a part of their accomplishment and have an emotional involvement as they graduate.

All of us are praying for these young adults as they take the next step in their lives. All of us want the very best for them. And all of us covet your prayers for them, too. You, also, have been a part of their lives in whatever way you have touched them. We know you rejoice for their accomplishments and pray God’s blessings on their futures. Thank you for the lives you are touching.

That week off is what I thought I’d tell you about. It was actually more than a week but I was away from home the whole time. This week (Easter week) was supposed to be my week off and I had reservations to fly to see my parents in North Carolina. But 11 days before I was to leave, I got a phone call from my brother, telling me that my dad wasn’t expected to live. It was already about 9:30 at night when he called and he said there was no way I’d get there in time. When I hung up and told Mark what my brother had said, he told me I should go anyway. I didn’t know what to do but I figured the first step was to call my supervisor, Toga Broom. I tried her a couple of times and couldn’t reach her. I began making what preparations I knew would be needed if I was to leave.

About 10:30, Mark started putting on his shoes. I asked where he was going and he said, “To see Toga.” Since I hadn’t been able to reach her by phone, he was going to her house. (Make note of that. There are very few people whose houses I would even think of going to at 10:30 at night. But Toga is one of those rare people who would be upset if you had a need in the middle of the night and didn’t come to her with it.) I continued making lists, organizing and trying to figure out what I needed to do. By 11:00, Mark was back. I asked if he’d talked to Toga and he replied that she was on her way over. She arrived shortly after that, prepared to move into a spare room and stay as long as I needed her.

At 1:45 am, Mark and I left for Memphis. The airline had switched my reservation so that I could be on the first flight to Charlotte, leaving at 6:00 am. If Toga hadn’t been at the house to stay with the kids, I couldn’t have done it but the girls were in good hands and I never had a moment’s concern about being gone.

When I arrived at the hospital three hours later, my dad looked up at me and smiled. I got to spend the last three days of his life with him and my mother, as well as two brothers and assorted nieces, nephews and dear friends. I was holding his hand when he took his last breath and I will always be grateful that I was able to be there.

Dad died late Sunday afternoon. His memorial service was Wednesday in North Carolina and he was buried the next day in Virginia. The trip home took us until Saturday night. It was an eventful week for my family. But it was also an eventful week at Children’s Homes for the girls who live with us. The Saturday that Dad was in the hospital, two of the girls were taking the ACT exam. The following Tuesday, they were leaving for a chorus trip that had been planned for months. They would return on Thursday. That night, they would start at 9:00 to decorate for their much-anticipated Junior/Senior banquet. The next day would be filled with getting their hair done and preparing for the banquet, where they were due to be at 4:00. After the banquet, the girls would spend the night with a classmate. Whew! And that was just two of the six kids in our house. Nearly all of them had phone calls, meetings, appointments and other things scheduled. It was a week I had been preparing myself for because it would take a lot of effort and organization to get everybody taken care of at the same time. But now I wasn’t going to be here to do it!

Relief housemom Carla Lemmons was supposed to have a cottage of boys that week. Mr. Richard Yeazel was supposed to be off. But he agreed to take the boys and free up Carla to have my girls. So Carla took the girls (and our little guy, of course) on Monday. That means she had all the running around to do, caring for the little one while his momma was busy most of the week, getting the girls ready for banquet, late nights followed by early mornings and all the other chaos that last week entailed. And she did every bit of it as if she’d planned on it for months, not as somebody who had it dropped in her lap at the last moment.

I titled this post “What a team!” But at CHI, it’s really more like family. We work to help each other and, when one of us has a crisis, somebody else steps in to pick up the slack. I don’t know what I’d have done without them all the last two weeks but I’m grateful to God and my co-workers that I didn’t have to find out. That’s the kind of people who care for the kids at Children’s Homes.

Next week is spring break for the kids. Greene County Tech, Crowley’s Ridge Academy and our own Balcom Learning Center will all take their spring break next week and all the kids will be home from school. I’m trying to plan how we will use all that free time. It could be like this week and easily get busier than one of our normal weeks.

One of the girls will be gone all week. She has a home visit scheduled for the whole week and she will be leaving for that before the others even come back from relief. Two of the other girls will have visits for part of the week but not all of it. I can already see I’m going to need to be a good juggler to make sure everybody is where they need to be at the right times and nothing gets overlooked.

One day next week we have an appointment to get alterations done on the dresses I talked about in my last post. The lady who does alterations apparently stays very busy, and her appointments were full for a couple of weeks when I called. Spring break week was the perfect time for us to get in. I can go back any time to pick them up when they’re done but it’s not easy to find a time when the girls are free for fittings.

I know we need to spend some time next week doing some yard work. Back in the fall we never quite got done with all we needed to do outside and the winter didn’t take care of it. Now that there’s no longer snow on the ground to hide it, we’ll need to get some clean-up done to showcase all the beautiful flowers that are beginning to bloom. We want to do our part to keep the campus looking as nice as it can.

What else will spring break consist of? Since Mark will be back to work, I don’t want to go anywhere for an extended trip without him and it wouldn’t be possible anyway with kids coming and going at different times. I’d like to plan a few day trips with the girls who’ll be staying here all week. We have a family pass at the Memphis Zoo (covers parking and admission for all of us) so I can see us packing a picnic lunch to take and spending a day there. We’ve gone twice already on this family pass, which is good for a year and cost us the same as just paying admission for all of us once! (Thanks, Mrs. Kelly, for telling us about that great bargain.) Somebody gave me some information about a youth museum that looks really interesting. I’d love to spend a day there as well. One of the girls has a friend coming over for dinner with us one night. And we need to do some shopping for Easter dresses and summer clothes. Wow – I was wondering if the girls were going to be sitting around bored all week! I think it wouldn’t be hard to have more to do than we have time for. Sounds like spring break will be over before I know it! I hope the girls will remember it as a week when we accomplished a lot and enjoyed being together. Those are the kind of memories I want them to take away from Children’s Homes with them.