Spring is in full swing. We’ve had more rain in the last month or so than I can remember in a long time. Praying for all the farmers, as well as the people affected by the tornadoes, flooding and other weather catastrophes. It’s a rough year for a lot of people.
It’s been a rough week here on campus for a lot of us. The tears shed could add to the flooding around here.
Last weekend, we lost a much beloved member of the community and the church family in Paragould. I must be the only person in Greene County who didn’t actually know Debbie Stokes and she apparently made a huge impact on every life she touched. Every person I talked to this week talked about what an incredible Christian woman she was. I’ve heard it estimated that thousands of people attended her visitation and/or funeral. The visitation was scheduled to be from 6:00 to 9:00 pm last Sunday and I heard there were still people paying their respects at 11:00!
Within days of Mrs. Stokes’ death, housemom Lauria Baker lost her niece, Anna. Anna, too, fought a brave battle with cancer for several years. She was a young woman and, like Mrs. Stokes, has been on our prayer list since before I came to CHI. The family has been very strong but I know their hearts are broken. Please pray for both of these families as they adjust to a life that has a gaping hole in it.
The other major grief that is taking place on our campus right now isn’t caused by a death. I’ve written in the past about how we sometimes play “musical kids” in an effort to provide the best care possible for the greatest number of our residents. It’s happening again this week, but on a much broader scale than ever before (in my experience). Out of three cottages of girls, there are only about four or five kids who are not moving. And the fourth girl cottage has one that is moving.
Some are moving because of some unhealthy relationships we’re trying to break up. Others are moving for logistical reasons. Our little guy and his momma will be going to a different cottage where the house is designed in a way that will give them a sort of apartment of their own, where they can take another step toward the way life will be for them when they leave Children’s Homes. Momma will be even more involved in his care than she was while they lived in our house and she will take on even more responsibilities with him. He will have the opportunity to see more clearly that she is the person who will be there for him as he grows up and to learn to depend on her to meet his needs, more than a housemom.
State and federal regulations determine how we can do much of what we do. One of those regulations is about the ratio of children to adults in the family homes on our campus. Our ratio is generally 9:1 in the homes. But a home that has small kids in it (I’m not sure what the exact age is) has a lower ratio because of the added demands of caring for younger children. That ratio, by the way, includes the houseparents’ kids as well as the residents. So, obviously, if two kids are moving into a different cottage, at least two will have to move out to make room for them. That’s why so many of the girls are affected by this move. To keep the numbers right and separate the ones who need to be separated, it will involve moving nearly every girl on campus.
The last time I wrote about this idea, it was from the perspective of what it takes to keep things on an even keel here. The girls who were moving that time were all fairly new to our program and were still settling in. It wasn’t terribly disruptive for them to change cottages while they were still transitioning into the program and getting to know everybody. But this time, the change has been much more upsetting to the people involved. When we told the girls about it on Thursday afternoon, there were very few who weren’t crying and some were weeping almost hysterically. Many of these girls have lived a year or more with the families they will be leaving – at least one of them has been with her houseparents nearly two years. Many have made great strides in their growth and have bonded with their houseparents strongly. This is a difficult move to make, even for the housemoms, who understand all the factors involved and the wisdom of the decision. We wouldn’t be doing what we do if we didn’t love the kids we care for, and it’s hard to send them off to another home and miss the daily interactions with them. But because we love them, we want what’s best for them. So we will put on a bold face and a cheery (if not altogether real) smile as we say goodbye. We’ll still see them around campus and we’ll still be praying for their success. Please pray with – and for – us this week.
